eeek! i'm pregnant!

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due date will be august 15th. i am applying to family medicine, do i tell them as i interview or do i wait until i match....i am still in shock and a little freaked out to have a baby during internship year. cant speak in complete sentences.

desperate for advice
 
Congratulations!
 
congrats.
i would post this in the fam med section as well (if you haven't already). each field is different and i think getting answers from people in that field would help.
in many fields i wouldn't say a thing until i matched. at least you have the option since you won't be showing. family med, in theory, should be more receptive and accomodating. but given the choice of someone who needs a month off vs not, who knows whether they would still be so accommodating of families....
 
First of all, congratulations!

It's a flip of a coin on this. On the one hand, you don't want to jeopardize any of your chances for your top program, on the other hand in the interest of full disclosure it's important to let them know about this because it can have ripple effects in scheduling (as well as length of time training and ending your residency in 3 yrs, instead of 3+)

You could, probably, go through the interview season and not mention that you are CURRENTLY pregnant, and get a feel for the programs from the standpoint of "My [husband, boyfriend, baby daddy, fiance] and I are trying to have a baby. What is the family medical leave in this residency? How easy is it to do it during residency? Are there other residents that had babies during internship?" and just get the vibe from the program. If there is any field where I see a lot of babies being born during residency, it's FP, so it probably won't be a big deal.

Once you do match, you have to tell the program you got into just so they can plan in your maternity leave -- you don't want to be scheduled for the ICU during your EDD.

When I was an intern, one of my classmates had a baby, but she gave birth towards the end of intern year, not the beginning. it was a little chaotic changing the schedule around, but it all worked out. As a chief resident, one of my second years got pregnant -> she delivered during the beginning of our third year, and we took her pregnancy into account when we made our schedule. I also had to schedule to accomodate a bunch of weddings.

all in all, don't worry too much about it -- this happens more than you'd think. bask in your hcg glow for now! (but definitely get the program vibe.....)

-good luck and congrats again.
 
REmember it's not legal to ask you about your plans for a family, relationships, religion or sexual orientation. If you are asked don't go ballistic but you can be absolutely vague.
 
COngratulations.

While it might be tempting to go into interviews and not say anything (since you really won't be showing), I'm in favor of at least some disclosure. After all, residency is a long period and if you start off on the wrong foot by showing up July 1 frankly pregnant and then need time off at the start of your internship, those hard feelings can last a long time.

You might even find a program which would allow a January 2005 start, if not the time off you need in August.
 
an addendum to my previous post.

if you decide not to tell them, definitely tell them after you match -- especially when you are asked for holiday schedule preferences.

i would NOT show up on July 1 totally pregnant without telling them. but letting them know on April 1 allows for them to incorporate you into the schedule easier.
 
I tend to agree with Jazz, you should let them know as soon as possible but you should not let them taint their decision about you as a potential resident with the information. Let them know after you match and if they're a good program they'll roll with it.

Having said that, realize that the other residents in your class are going to be asked to pick up the slack while you're gone so a bigger program rather than a smaller one will be more able to absorb your abscence
 
I would wait to tell them until match. Like the day after match.


If they are pissed that you didn't tell them, that just affirms your decision not to.
 
REmember it's not legal to ask you about your plans for a family, relationships, religion or sexual orientation. If you are asked don't go ballistic but you can be absolutely vague
Click to expand...

it may be illegal but people still ask all the time. have an answer ready. it doesn't have to be the truth but be ready. i would not point out that the question is illegal. i would just be vague as gimmedog suggests. programs try to get around to it like ... so what do you do on your free time -- who do you spend it with? what do you see yourself doing in your personal life in five years? etc...
 
If I were a PD, and someone told me they were pg and due 6 weeks after they were to start, I would really appreciate their honesty and candor but look for other candidates instead. This is why my vote is to tell them after you match.
 
NO...

I WOULD NOT TELL.

Come on, an inteview is a place where you sell yourself. Everyone is on their best behavior. And not that being pregnant is a bad thing, but its not going to help you get into a program because that means all the other residents have to work harder, including the current residents that may be helping to push the PD to rank you high, or low.

Plus, do you think these PDs will be telling you everything about their program, both good and not so good--NO.

In your case, its a little different because you're not completely lying, and legally, they're not supposed to ask anyway--ie, it shouldn't even be a topic of discussion. So don't feel bad for not mentioning it.
 
i agree - i would not tell the programs during interviews. like it or not, and legal or not, many programs will use this against you and it will hurt your chances. choose the most "family-friendly" residency and tell them later. informing them right after match day will give them plenty of time to schedule your rotations appropriately.
and congrats!
 
This thought may be totally unwarranted given that you seem pretty set on going thru the match this year, but as a mom of a 19 month old, I can tell you that I am REALLY HAPPY that I chose to take a year off between med school and residency to care for my son. I withdrew from the match last year after interviewing; I plan to start up this coming July. Obviously the way I did it is not for everyone, and much depends on the support you are going to have nearby next year, but I would just say, don't underestimate how HARD it is to have a new baby and how hard it is to be an intern (my husband is currently one.) You might want to take those transitions one at a time for your own peace of mind. The programs I interviewed at were all incredibly understanding and supportive of my decision (I am going into psychiatry) and today, at an interview for this year's match, I had three attendings tell me they felt I made a very good choice (which was nice to hear.) I would bet many FP programs would be similarly attuned to the needs of family, or I would hope so. Even a January start might make a big difference to you. Know that people go thru residency on all different kinds of schedules, and it works out. You don't have to be on the slippery slope. Good luck to you.
 
I have to agree w/gyri. Both of my med school house mates did what she did and felt like it was the better choice. The thing that keeps bothering me, reading the posts urging you not to tell or at least wait until the day after the match or whatever, is that when you inform the PD of your due date, it's going to be crystal clear that you were withholding rather important information that will affect the residency program, the other residents, etc. Regardless of whether or not you are entitled to do so, keeping your pregnancy a secret is not the greatest way to start out. I would rather have a candidate be upfront about things from the start.
 
being a (miserable) resident right now, i would love to have something great to look forward to and would probably welcome taking a year off to spend with my child (as others have pointed out, residency can wait -- while your child won't)

as for LaCirujana's comment that

The thing that keeps bothering me, reading the posts urging you not to tell or at least wait until the day after the match
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i'm just being realistic. truthfully if i matched with you, i would probably be annoyed that you matched and somewhat resentful with the extra work load. i would love to tell you that telling programs won't affect your match chances, but they will. i would NOT tell residencies when i interivew if i were pregnant b/c it will decrease your chances.

by law, you are allowed to have families and employers have to make time for it. therefore, you are not doing anything illegal and as long as you make people aware that you are pregnant after you match and your anticipated due date, they can work you into the schedule and make sure, for instance, that you don't have icu in august but possibly vacation or something like that.

unfortunately life is competitive. everyone would want a candidate to be forthcoming but most people would not be able to take that information and not let it affect their decision.
 
Regardless of your legal rights, your reputation will significantly flavor your residency experience and, by way of recommendations, your first job. Furthermore, people's willingness to accomodate your family needs will make your resdidency very difficult or very easy. I would not want to start residency perceived by my attendings and colleagues as a liar/shirker.

Apart from the various late start options, family practice is a very forgiving match right now. Only 40% of positions were filled by US Seniors last year. You are in a seller's market, pregnant or not. Why not just tell? Do you want to be raising a child while working in a program that would black-ball you for being pregnant?
 
Why not let the process decide for you? If you're forthcoming during the interview, maybe you'll find a place that can assure you that they really would be willing to help you get through it.

If you don't find a place like that, and you don't match or don't feel comfortable entering the match based on how the interviews felt - then you'll know that taking a year off is probably the best option.

I'm only MS3, but I've gotten this far with 2 kids and a wife. I didn't think I could do it, but somehow, things seem to work out with BOTH a family and career if you keep your priorities straight.

Oh - I'd lean heavily in favor of taking a year off if you'll be a single mom, BTW. My wife is a HUGE part of why things have worked. I'm pretty sure a person could get through school as a single parent of an infant/young child - but I'm not sure the kid could without some significant drawbacks for them.
 
Hi -

Im currently a pregnant intern altho I didn't know at interviews last year that I would be. I would recommend not telling for the reasons listed above. It is likely to bias programs against you - at least some of them. And there might be good reasons why you would prefer a program other than the fact that the program is super-accomodating.

Also, I dont think that you have to inconvenience your fellow residents. If you tell the program director as soon as the schedule is being put together, you can make sure that you are scheduled for your call months appropriately. I think any program that is large enough and has call and non-call months should be able to accomodate someone taking time off without making someone else pick up the slack. You could take into consideration which programs could accomodate you this way without messing up the schedule.

I was very pleasantly surprised by how understanding and helpful my prelim and residency program were and Im taking 3 mo off (and will be delayed for 2.5 months at the end of it all).

Congrats and try not to stress too much (like I did). Its a challenge, but with the right schedule and support, you'll be fine!

Ann
 
well thanks everybody. I have finally calmed down and am not in shock as I was before. You all knew I was pregnant even before my husband did! I agree with not telling during my interviews, I am selling myself and just because I will have a tenderfoot sooner rather than later, it doesnt mean I am going to be a crappy doctor.

On the interviews that I had so far, I put out the feelers and discussed maternity leave with each program. I just say, this is important to me, I am a woman and plan to have kids at some point without letting on about the bun in the oven. most have been very nice and said many of their residents have taken it and that the program is very supportive. if i have had the chance, I spoke to the residents that have taken maternity leave. I have also asked whether or not it screws the other residents or how they accomodate the schedule. the programs have been very forthright in their answers and it makes me better able to decide which programs are right for me.

so thanks for all of your support and well wishes, i certainly needed it!

ps I appreciate the advice on taking a year off. Unfortunately, I cant afford to do that. I would also worry that I wouldnt go back to medicine and with almost 300K in loans, I am going to have to work from now until I die to pay them off 🙂
 
I sure can relate to the debt issue.

Sounds like you're working things out well. Good luck!
 
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