Embarrassing Question Regarding Gastro Surgery/Sex

[PharmBoy90]

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This is not something that is easy for me to ask anyone, even though this is somewhat anonymous.

Anyway, I am a 24-year-old gay man. At age 15, I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis and after medication therapies failed to work, I had J-Pouch surgery at age 16 (the majority of my colon was removed in 2 separate surgeries that were 3 months apart).

Even though I have never tried to engage in (receptive) anal sex with another man, I had wondered for quite some time if my surgery would effect my ability to do so. I did some research on the internet and found various answers...some people saying yes, some people saying no. I wasn't ready to "find anyone" at the time anyway, so I kind of ignored it and didn't research it any further.

Until about a year and a half ago, I decided I wanted a concrete answer so I decided to contact my surgeon via e-mail and this was his response:

I do remember you, and I am really glad that you have done well from your surgery. Please do not be embarrassed by your question – it is a quite common one. Unfortunately, my answer is that any anal penetration following the surgery that you had is not advisable, either for you or for your partner. For you, there could be damage to the connection between the pouch and the bottom, as well as to the underlying sphincter muscles, and could potentially even ultimately lead to the need for a permanent ileostomy. I advise all of my patients not even to allow any physician to do a rectal exam, unless the physician is an expert in the type of surgery that you had (either a GI or a surgeon who does this). And for any partner, there is the potential for penile injury, as there are staples in the area, which could potentially scratch, cut or otherwise injure the penis. My advice is that you try your best to limit your sexual activities to those which do not involve you as an anal receptive partner.


I hope that this is a helpful (if not the desired) answer to your question. Please feel free to call me or to come and see me any time.


Best,


MH

Although he gave me an answer and it wasn't what I wanted to hear, I figured I'd get some other opinions. Does anyone else know if anything can be done surgically in the future (should I choose to do so) to make receptive anal sex possible for me and my partner? If I want to get some more opinions, is the only way to go about doing so by visiting different gastrointestinal surgeons individually?

I know this may not seem like a big deal to some, but it's made me pretty depressed knowing that I have never and will never experience that part of my sex life.

 

[gutonc]

SDN is not for medical advice. Closing.